..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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