Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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