ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
