it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
