I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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