I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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