i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
