Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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