the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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