Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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