is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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