what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
