I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
