They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
