i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
