She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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