Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
