I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am mentally ready for anal.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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