What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
