Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
