i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
honey bunches of taint.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
