i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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