She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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