in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
