This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
