you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
