Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
