You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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