One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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