That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
