Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Randomize
