His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
