the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
