I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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