Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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