Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
