im gay
i know
yea but for you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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