He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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