I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
