the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?