he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.