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he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
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