me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
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hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
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Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex