I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
