I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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