Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
