Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
