tell your sister to shave her snatch
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
