Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
