i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
