Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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