real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have feelings that need drinking.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
