I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
