His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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