idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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