What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Life is so much better after having sex.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
