I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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