gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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