mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Shame - the story of my life.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
