I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
