Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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