oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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