Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
