at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
