Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
