all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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