in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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