Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
