yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
