"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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