New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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