oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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