Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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