Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
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Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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