Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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