He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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