walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
