Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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